I'm coming around the final bend... 3

I was probably at my zenith (and strangest) in the years just prior to getting on the internet. I was deeply in the cosmos of school. I could learn things very fast. I was going through real, basic stages - thresholds - at a steady pace. I didn't have worldly distractions. I'll get back there. I've been in an internet seminary for four years, screaming "devil!" at people. Learning real things too. (Wait a minute, I screamed devil at people when I first read Fox's Book of Martyrs... That's nothing new for me...) I had an aversion to priests when I was a child too... You definitely have to get more, shall we say, elegant (or at least simple) with it all, as you leave your youthful years when you can get away with things you can't get away with when you no longer have the youthful years.

I'm mixing things and it's clashing in my ears. I'm mixing my teaching persona with my real life self. They don't mix. Because the teaching person is - was? - connected with school (C Influence).

Don't mix the two...

I had deep 'sight' into time for a period. Into who I was in time. I could see families I'd been in. Relationships and connections with other people from when I was a different person, and how they caused strangeness and friction (and how that is a real stage of real school). How C Influence influences through time and space. How it's a person and also no one physically present. How snippets of memory from early childhood give clues. Being 'visited.' Strange events too that occured that have connection with school (you can see in hindsight). Recurring things that you only have the vaguest memory of, but you can see an ongoing connection.

Where was I?

The cosmos of school...

When you are a real teacher (I don't like that word, but you know what I mean) you have influence above you. You are in a line of transmission. So mixing my real life self in that is problematic. It takes it out of a pure school cosmos context. It introduces vain flesh blabbering about the usual human, all to human, concerns and whining and vain philsophizing on life and so on...

I'll get back to my real self (my real self needed to learn theology, but my real self is not someone in an internet seminary), and I won't mix things...