Note on where I am here

For the record, my goal of being awake enough to mark x's at every 15-minute interval for an entire 16-hour day was MET. I did it. And it launched me into a great struggle with darkness (it also made me a musicologist for about 72 hours, I think), but not too bad. So it can be done. Now, the next step is to deepen the third state within each of those 15-minute intervals. Even if just for a minute or two within each 15-minute interval (not that being awake enough to be able to mark an 'x' each fifteen minutes is nothing...it's actually very big...and not to be taken for granted when you get to where you can do it). This is locking down on your inner being. Time is the great weapon we have (i.e. my inner being has 16 hours a day to be mechanical and do its thing, so I can be on top of it for those 16 hours and hence, it can't manifest). Time and number (number in terms of, to give a single representative example, actually counting different roles we play in an average day or week, for instance; i.e. to be able to actually observe and count them - put a number on them - gives us power because otherwise it all appears nebulous or infinite - or overwhelming - when it doesn't have to be or isn't).

Of course, as I mentioned, the 'darkness'... The third state of consciousness makes you more conscious of yourself, and that can be unpleasant. Because we have alot in our inner being and in our history that we block out because it is frankly unpleasant or embarassing when we are confronted with it. Other things too that fuel resentment and anger and all that kind of thing. So, to do what I did requires one to be a true warriour. A real knight in the Work. Because you will be confronted and find yourself in battle. You don't just merely ride your self-remembering/non-identifying horse through the trackless forest with no intervals of battle occuring...

As I continue on to learn the language of cosmoses (the language of Man #6) - hence I have to be in the third state of consciousness now regularly, I can't screw around - which is the language of objective consciousness just as the Work generally is the language of self-consciousness...as I was saying, as I continue to learn the language of cosmoses (which is a language you do, a language that is used by volition) - I'll finish this sentence, but I'm not sure where it was suppose to go - as I continue on to learn the language of cosmoses I'll remember you all and maybe pour some boiling oil on top of you in the future.