to stand...

Well now I've done it. I've cut myself off from all conversation. Ended my last forum. Going on 57 days or so of no internet exchanges on Work ideas, practices, and goals.

It's not like I havn't been doing anything, but still... I keep trying to engage Christians on various Christian forums, but they have such thin freak-out margins and are generally such zombies of food/sex/money/mother-in-law world (not to mention they are so in the illusion and power of their vanity and worldly pride to the extent that they are covered in a sort of flash paper - the kind that bookies use so they can burn their records in a flash when the cops raid their establishment - that you have to tread so softly and carefully around them or...BANNED!!!)... So it's literally impossible to get any kind of interesting topic or thread of discussion going with them. They're very good at ignoring me too, I should say. I have to compliment them there. I have never been ignored on the internet more effectively than on Christian forums. Sometimes I get ZERO responses. ZERO. Makes one wonder what is going on. God might be saying, 'emptiness is in this direction'...

The whole game with theologians and apologists is also such a juvenile, vain affair. In their own realm they have all the most comical traits of Work people who reside in the foundations and what not. The accredited 'teachers'. They either know jack sh** or what they do know anybody can learn from the same books and teachers in history, yet they act - in effect - like they blazed all the trails and suffered all the sacrifices to bring all the knowledge to light (I have to say though, regarding the Work 'teachers', that they rarely have any of the basics in understanding whereas theologians often do pick up the basics of orthodox theology fairly adeptly, though most of them remain wobbly and totter eventually in one way or another). In both camps, 'originality' always means 'vain, idiotic claptrap'. Once you learn the basics in an on-the-mark way you're 'there'. Easier said than done, yet the potential is very much there. And the basics are available to anybody from the basic pool of knowledge and sources all have access to.

So who am I talking to...

Looking over the archives of my last forum I can see how the theology-learning clouded things. I was writing in a way that is bound to annoy (ongoing thinking-out-loud type of writing, on a subject other's aren't currently involved in). I have the ability to write more authoritatively, but not on a subject I didn't yet have 'down'. I've said it before, there is no subject that humans are more ignorant of when they first engage it than theology. You just don't encounter apostolic Biblical ideas and categories and subject matter in any worldly or secular realm of study. And if you get close, in a second or third hand way even, you usually ignore it or run away from it; so when you finally come to it directly it's all totally unexplored, unexperienced terrain. A country you havn't even read about or seen in pictures let alone visited and experienced first hand.

But it is very much Work-related, just as the foundation of a mountain is related to the summit. The thing is though: for Work students there is so much influence to engage and absorb and understand that is not the Bible that it is getting 'ahead' of things to make the Bible the main subject matter. I climbed the mountain myself before I ever was ready to engage the Biblical foundation of it all, and all those influences up the mountain, and even at the summit, are very much worldly - or not Biblical - influences. So you stifle other people's progress when you are hitting on the subject of theology and the Bible over and over (this is all known and has been stated a thousand times on the last forum, but I'll just state it again).

So time is needed. You have to break off communication so time can do its work. So communications have been broken off. Only know one knows how long a hiatus is called for.

Anyway, I'm still on the theology track. (It's a big field to get one's arms around.)

I'm different from the church level theologians though in that I have death at the forefront of all my study and effort. It makes one focused on what is important and inspires one to get to the core of it all - quickly. As quickly as possible. No screwing around with endless book collecting and endless talk and debate. (Even though you DO, unfortunately, have to collect alot of books when you are pursuing theological knowledge...there's alot of waste, but just even to FIND the few sources you can apply yourself to with effort and dedication and get most everything from you have to go through a largish number...)

It's all crazy until you die. Then... If you're just a 'shade' then what do you care about such things now. You're not yet regenerated. You're content with talk and debate and the vain pursuits of the world. If you're a spiritual body (you have the Holy Spirit in you) then you have a drive to find and understand real knowledge. To extend your limits of being to be able to take in greater amounts of understanding. New understanding. And it's all very serious. And people think you're crazy, but you are saying to yourself: I'm being inspired in this direction, and I'm no longer asleep in recurrence. I need to be able to stand in the 'day of my calamity'. Shades don't need to stand. They'll cycle down and up and everything is passive go-along to get-along (with a smirk). I'm 'marked' in the Kingdom of Darkness and have to be awake; and to stand...